It’s My Vagina

It was recently brought to my attention that there are A-sexual individuals who populate this world right next to us indiscriminately leg-humping horndogs. I hadn’t previously considered the fact that there were people out there who had no sexual attraction to others or that there were those with zero sex drive who weren’t interested in sex at all. Once I realized this, I thought myself very narrow-minded and self-focused to never have contemplated this possibility but I tried to forgive myself because most people don’t become aware of things in a vacuum; they have to expose themselves to outside sources and influences in order to become educated and informed. That’s what reading is for. That’s why human contact with a variety of people is necessary.

Back to the point: here on this little blue marble, there is EVERYTHING, ranging from full-on “sexual addiction” to A-sexuality and ALL of it should be respected. However, use of the word “slut” points toward the complete avoidance of voluntary female sexuality. Female sexuality is only acceptable as a passive acceptance of the inevitable penis which must invade our helpless vaginas, because it is the way of things. Amen. However, if a female is utterly and completely uninterested in said penis, she is considered a deficient anomaly to be similarly dismissed and marginalized as “abnormal.”

To make things worse, our culture pushes emphasis toward the sexual median and forces all of us to walk a fine line between harlotry and frigidity, asserting that neither “extreme” of sexuality is acceptable. If we are completely uninterested in sex with others, we are defective and have issues. If we are too enthusiastic about sex and relish the opportunity to engage in every available casual encounter, we are overzealous and have issues.

If a “slut” is a promiscuous woman, how do we define “promiscuous”? By church-going, Republican-Baptist standards, promiscuity is pretty much defined as any extra-marital sexual engagement. Even a quick rub-and-tug. By free-loving, debauching, Liberal-atheist standards, promiscuity is alleged when you don’t know their first name. In the adult industry and swinging community, promiscuity isn’t a term that’s really even taken seriously; it’s considered laughable and ridiculous — however, this phenomenon is due to the commonality of casual sexual encounters and has little to do with tolerance of others. Those same adult communities ridicule those who choose not to participate with multiple partners.

The intolerance of diverse sexualities plagues our nation, with everyone attempting to shame everyone else to sexual practices that are more like their own. Don’t be gay, be straight. Don’t be slutty, be abstinent. Don’t be straight, be gay. Don’t be gay, be bi. Don’t be A-sexual, be a slut. Everybody’s human. Why can’t we just hump when we want to?

Just in case you don’t know the answer to this question, it’s PATRIARCHY. (Again.)

Why is that? Well… because that’s how oppressive, insecure men prefer their women: compliant but not too eager (lest a woman’s sex drive cause her to find a better dicking somewhere else.) And the Patriarchy is the system under which oppressive, insecure men set the cultural rules. If our cultural norms reflected female perspective, men would be similarly shamed for infidelity and promiscuity. But under current rule, there is no shaming word for men who like to fuck. There also isn’t a comparable word to the stigmatized “frigid” for men, either. That’s because men get to fuck who they want when they want – and don’t fuck who they don’t want to fuck – and they refuse to be shamed by their preferences.

Unfortunately, part of the problem is women themselves. Women help pass around the word “slut” and “whore,” eagerly slandering and belittling each other with the weapons that men happily wield against them. This is not because “women are naturally competitive.” Men are naturally competitive, too. If we lived in an oppressive Matriarchy, men would turn on each other in the same way women do in order to compete for validity. But here we are, clawing our way through the crowd to prove our sexuality and denounce our whoredom, therefore affirming our validity in a Patriarchal world. We’re truly pathetic.

Why can’t we just like ourselves and wait for the person who likes us back? Let’s stop buying into the degrading makeover reality shows and be ourselves for once; do we really believe that men will forever deny us? Are we really that convinced that we have to make out with our best friend to score dick on the weekends? Let’s fuck who we wanna fuck, labels be damned, and laugh in the faces of those who would try to insult us with meaningless references to our conquests. Let’s be proud of our sexuality, whatever it is, and deny the Patriarchy the right to shame us for what we do with our own vaginas.

About GoddessBlue

I'm a pansexual socialist feminist and part-time Theist; I'm a tutor and freelance blogger/writer and mess around with fiction in my spare time. I also like to whore around and I have a tendency to spank people.

Posted on May 12, 2011, in Gender, Relationships, Roles, Sex, Sexuality, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. I am working on a number of ideas that overlap. if you do a search on orwells boot, I will turn up number one on almost all search engines. Today I am number 2 on google. So I guess a lot of people like what I have to say.

    Let me start by saying I like your avatar. But you may wish to switch to a gun that shoots round rather than square bullets 🙂 And I guess that your avatar is an indication that you agree with the saying that God did not make women, samuel colt did. Along the lines of womens equality —
    An item that is not on orwells boot is women and their natural inferiority. I am developing this under the idea of — in all cultures women are inferior to men and if women do not start running things (which it looks like they are) then the human race is doomed. Being a boy, I would surely like your input on this topic.

    To get in the mental space for that, I would suggest that you read up briefly on bonobo and pan troglodyte chimps.

    by the way… You are partially correct in this statement:
    And the Patriarchy is the system under which oppressive, insecure men set the cultural rules.
    You are wrong in the name calling. I believe that A more fundamental error is that you do not understand the fact two basic things. Women have different time frames than men, and women do not make rules. More generally, women live while men measure and compete. While these differences are not likely to be changed, they can, perhaps, be understood.

    anyhow — please get back to me. anyone here can feel free to get back to me.

    dpaladin at ix dot netcom dot com

    • goddessblue

      I’m not completely sure I comprehend what you’re trying to say here. Is English your 2nd language? (No offense meant, just curious.)

      • No one has EVER accused me of being clear in my writing. I did go into greater depth here at If there are specific things there that are unclear, your help would be appreciated.

        I take heart in the fact that if you do a search on the terms orwells boot, I will be number 1 on all search engines, and that is out of 3 million hits on google. So some people must think that I am comprehensible 🙂 Maybe I just have to be wordy 🙂

  2. When you were acting in adult films did you view the industry as empowering women or oppressing them? When you were doing hardcore scenes were you empowered?

  3. When you were acting in adult movies did you feel empowered or oppressed? Were you acting or did you enjoy the really hardcore stuff you did?

  4. “There also isn’t a comparable word to the stigmatized ”frigid” for men, either.”

    -The equivalent of ‘frigid’ for men is ‘impotent.’ And it does carry a huge stigma.

    • goddessblue

      I disagree; impotence is involuntary (though a man desires sex, he is unable to perform) while “frigidity” implies a voluntary lack of interest on the female’s part which is not evaluated objectively (like the observation of a flaccid penis), but a label which is assigned based on how much sex a man feels that his partner “should” want with him.

      • Lori Adorable

        You’re right- ‘barren’ is the opposite of ‘impotent,’ not ‘frigid.’

  5. Lori Adorable

    You posit that asexuality and sexual addiction are on a spectrum, but they are not. Celibacy and sexual addiction are; asexuality is merely an orientation like ‘gay’ or ‘straight. Some asexual people still have sex and plenty of sexual people abstain from it.

    • goddessblue

      It was not my intention to imply that A-sexuality was anything aside from a sexual orientation; I meant only to refer to the behavior of abstaining from sex, which an A-sexual person would be more likely to do. I apologize for any unintended offense.

  6. Wondering why you won’t answer if your time in adult films was empowering or not?

  7. My post got deleted. When you were in adult fiilms were you empowered as a woman ?

    • goddessblue

      Ok, dude, listen to me. Please stop posting this porno question. If you actually are looking for a porn star, you have the wrong person. I know you’re just being a dick because I emailed you directly to tell you that you have the wrong person and you’re still at it.

  8. all i have to say is that this is a wonderful post and I thank you for standing up for us all

  9. Well, promiscuous males are sometimes referred to as dogs, as in the phrase “all men are dogs”. Also pimps. “Womaniser” can have negative connotations too,

  10. Although I appreciate what this article has to say, I just have one complaint: I – and many other trans people – would appreciate it if you didn’t equate gender to genitals.
    Sincerely, a man with a vagina

    • I agree with this completely, though I am unsure of how to remedy the situation when I’m trying to describe the stereotypes of men and women in an article. Any suggestions? [GREAT comment, btw. I appreciate this very important perspective.]

  11. At the risk of being labeled a patriarchist I have found that it is quite possible to be content with being celebate before marriage at 31 yr and monogamous for the 26 yr since then. The secret is not sexual domination but a wiilingness to be a full partner in the adventure of life. If all we worship is Reason or Sexual Gratification as a means to personal power then our gods are rather puny. We have forgotten the range of human conditions from ennuch to whoremonger varies from person to person and age to age. There are things that work well and others that end in disappointment. Chose wisely.

  12. I just wanted to say that I adore this blog.
    Your articles are witty and well-written, you analyze things from separate, unbiased angles, and your she-Hulk background is aesthetically appealing.
    I’m a twelve year old feminist/lesbian/Human Rights advocate, and I have a gigantic crush on you.
    That is all.

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